Hi God, Its been a while

God,

My whole life is yours

Here I stand before you with my arms open wide

please help me to surrender all that I have (Its kinda hard to do this on my own..)

God, have your way even if it conflicts with what I want

Please help me to see and understand that You have good intentions for me

Please God, rid me of these worldly needs and desires and help me to sacrifice all these things for the sake of your glory

You are so holy God

You are so perfect God

You are so beautiful God

God, I feel like I haven’t talked to You in months (literally)

God I am so thankful for what You have done in these past couple months

even when things seem difficult, You never cease to be amazing

You never stop loving

You never stop caring

Lord you are so wonderful

I’d give thousands of days in the paradises on Earth for one day in your presence

Thank you God for the time I’ve had on this Earth for life is a gift

Thank you God for the opportunity to worship you freely for it is a privilege

I don’t know what I would do without You God

Thank You so much for all You’ve done for me, for I deserve nothing but death

Thank you

Prayer

prayer in general would be nice that is all

actually please pray that God gives me strength to go through both the good and the bad with a unending passion for Him

Breathe On Me Now

God,

please change my heart and let me love the world like Jesus loved the world, cause i freakin hate it right now.

Change me to become more like You please. please allow me to cast aside my selfishness and be more open to humility, generosity, patience and love.

I know you can hear this, please God. I can’t do this without you. I need you Lord. I’m desperate for you

one of my favorite songs:

Breathe On Me Now - Kathryn Scott

When My Soul Has Cried Its Tears
and My Heart Begins To Faint
will You Draw Near
will You Meet With Me

when My Days Are Filled With Longing
and My Spirit Groans And Waits
will You Draw Near
will You Meet With Me

i’m Calling And Waiting
your Presence Lord Is Life To Me

breathe On Me Now As I Bow Down
i’m Desperate Lord For More Of You
come Satisfy Until I
am Even More In Need Of You

when My Dreams Have Been Forgotten
and My Hope Begins To Fade
will You Draw Near
will You Meet With Me

when My Days Are Filled With Searching
and My Strength Has Given Way
will You Draw Near
will You Meet With Me



its not just a song, its a cry out to God in desperation. God would you breathe on me now and satisfy me to a point where I need more of You? Cause I am in desperate need of You.

God Take my life

God take my life and make it yours

I’m sorry for everything I’ve done apart from you. I’ve strayed away from you, yet you have always been there with open arms to welcome me back. Here I stand, arms open for you yet again making my way back.

I’m sorry for the worldly things I put my identity in, I’m sorry for the worldly things that I turned to instead of turning to You, God. I’m sorry for relying and putting my faith in myself when I should be relying and trusting in You, God.

shape me to be like you God cause

"I want to know you, I want to see your face, I want to know you more" - chorus of In the secret by Andy Park

and please

"take my heart, and form it

take my will, conform it

take my mind, transform it

to yours, to yours oh Lord” - Chorus of Take my Life by Scott Underwood

both are great songs that really speak a lot to me. God, I do want to know you more and please shape me to be more like you

Amen

Faith and Trust

it seems that lately, ive been freaking out about EVERYTHING. why cant i just give it up all up to God? sure i have to do my part in everything but why is it that i just cant give up the pen, and let God write my life story? Im pretty dang sure hes a way better author than i am yet i hold on because im unsure of whats gonna happen in my life… lack of faith much? lack of trust much? well this is me saying “God take control of my life. I know that things wont just all of a sudden ‘work out’ or ‘get better’ but that doesnt matter. my plea to you is that in everything that i do, may you be glorified. may YOU be lifted high not me. make YOU more and make ME less.” sure i may not like this initially cause to be honest my emotions and drive is fueled by other people and what they thing of me, not the you God. this needs to change. and its changing. right. now. thank you God. Take my life and mold me the way in anyway you want.

Jealousy

everyone experiences it sometime or another. some more frequent than others and some more intense than others, but whats the root of it all and why do we as humans have this emotion?

in front of me, i see something i want. but its not like some jacket that i can go buy at a store. no. this is something more valuable. but still. they have it. why cant i have it?

jealousy to be honest is one of many sins i struggle with the most. normally when im jealous i wont be as energetic nor will i talk to as many people. I tend to drift away from groups and just spend some time on my own no matter who im with.

i honestly can get pretty mad at the world when im jealous but still.. what does the bible have to say about jealousy? its hard to turn to the bible when were down and pissed off but still ya gotta go to it haha

so heres a verse that i found that i like to go to a lot:

"Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." - Galatians 5: 19-21

well heck jealousy is right smack in the middle… and its obviously a SIN. 

i know its a sin and i know i should try and keep my heart and thoughts pure but why is it so hard to do so? is it my lack of faith? is it my lack of trust? is it my own stupidity and worldly desires? what is it?? i wanna know! cause honestly wallowing in jealousy isnt exactly what i call a fun day in the park. 

i dont even know what im saying anymore haha but anyways! to end this on a more encouraging note for some people who actually take the time to read this… i guess: Gods got your best intentions in His mind. Let HIM take control. take what He gives you and move on with it. ya i know it sucks when we dont get what we want but what authority do we have to say to God “i dont like this or that give me something better” mannnn if i had a perfect plan all laid out for my child and he said to me he wants to go down a different path - one that could potentially lead to destruction- id be all like “oh no you didnt!” and slap him across the face!

…good thing im not God.. and that He doesnt do that.. hahaha but seriously He’s gotcho back. so trust Him. take what He gives you. just make sure that whatever you get, its from God. 

well this quarters gonna suck (academically)

so pretty much this quarter is gonna suck… hopefully God has mercy on my grades… hahahaha

Thankfulness

Why can’t people be more thankful in this holiday season? I mean common people not everyone NEEDS the latest iPhone or the game or computer. I think it’s time to take time and just thank God for what we have!

Post Conference part II

Satan.. you have a real nasty way of biting me in the butt after an awesome retreat..

but you know what. God is bigger. And even tough youre beatin me down im just gonna stand back up cause i KNOW that if our God is for us you cannot stand against us!

Post Conference part I

So pretty much im sick and Satan has a nasty way of biting me in the but when i have a post lab due in 20 min…